When all of my anxiety attacks/panic attacks started happening and I had to have help afterwards of getting around, and doing normal everyday things, the guilt sat in.
I felt absolutely terrible. I didn't want the help, but I needed it.
If I didn't ask for help I would fall, stumble, trip, everything because my body was so weak.
I hated it. I hated myself. I wondered day in and day out why this was happening to me. I was so independent and now I couldn't be at times. I had to rely on other people.
I thank God everyday that I had a fiancé (at the time) who understood and stood beside me and helped me.
I still wonder why he stuck around and eventually asked me to marry him, but I am so grateful and honored that he picked me to be his wife. I couldn't ask for a more perfect man.
I still feel guilty to this day when I have to ask for help. Talk about taking a punch to the pride. I shouldn't have to have help! I should be able to do everything on my own. It absolutely kills me to ask for help. I hate myself when I do, and I hate the entire situation. I feel so guilty and feel like a burden to everyone when I need help. No one ever seems to mind and constantly tell me that's what family is for. I despise it though. I want to be healthy and not need help anymore. I want to be ME again.
I think Its a good quality in you that you have some pride and don't want to rely on others... but it is a double edge sword. bcus we all need help sometimes, and those that love us, dont mind to step up and step in when we need it. Its hard for you not to feel guilty bcus you are independent naturally. But try not to think of yourself as a burden. People who truly dont want to help you... wont! We have all been there where!! So, if someone is continually offering support and assistance, its because they honestly dont mind and want to be there for you. Its good to strive to be more independent again and for the anxiety to get better so that you can be. But dont push yourself too hard bcus of pride or guilt. Take your time, you will get there!!
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